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Just starting out
24/07/2009
I don’t know that I am a cuckold yet. It just seems like that is where this is going. It really started about 2 years ago. We had been married about 6 years and things weren’t going well in the sex department. She just didn’t have any desire. I got tired of trying and only feeling like I was forcing her to do it. One day we finally just talked about it. She was feeling guilty and said I should just have sex with other woman.
Normally, this would be a dream come true for a guy, but under the circumstance, I was afraid she didn’t really mean it and I really wasn’t sure that our marriage would last if I did start finding other women. She had always said she was interested in other women, so I suggested that maybe we look for a woman together.
Over the year or so, we posted ads, joined sites, and even went to the local swingers club. We never took anyone home, though we did have a few dinner dates. The sex improved. It started to happen more frequently and she was actually enjoying it.
We decided that swinging and threesomes probably weren’t our thing. We both enjoyed the attention of the opposite sex, but it just wasn’t as fun as just flirting like we were single. She had given me permission to “have fun” when I was out. I never really did anything but kiss a girl and dance a lot. We never really talked about what she had permission to do and honestly, she really didn’t do much.
That all changed about six weeks ago. She was on the West Coast with her sister visiting some friends from high school. She had a great time and kept talking about moving out to California. She also said that she had met some fun guys out there and she was starting to feel that sex could sometimes just be about having fun and not about love (something I had always told her I felt). She said that she thought that we should try an open marriage. I didn’t honestly think too much about this. When we met, she was a virgin and so she had always hinted that she would like to see what it would be like to be with another guy. I didn’t take the conversation too seriously and thought that it was probably more of a theoretical discussion than something that was really going to happen.
She did say that she thought that if we did do something it would be better to do it with people that didn’t live close to us. She said she thought it would be more discreet that way and besides she said jokingly she didn’t want me stuck at home cleaning on a Saturday will she was out with another guy.
I didn’t think much about it, but about a week later, she was on the couch with our laptop as we were watching TV and her sister (who is over at our house all the time) leaned over and asked what she was doing. She acted kind of strange and just said she was checking her email.
That got me curious, so later that night I logged in to our email. I didn’t see anything in the inbox or deleted items, but under the sent folder was a bunch of emails that she had been writing to a guy she met on her trip. Later that night (I think she realized I suspected something), she confessed that she had met a guy in California and that they were just “friends” but she felt awkward telling me about it because he was a guy.
She didn’t know I had read the emails. It was obvious that both of them wanted to be more than just friends. The next day I confronted her about what the emails said. She didn’t deny it but said she had a really strong connection with him and hadn’t had that in a long time with another guy. She said that if I didn’t want them to have sex, she would probably not do it, but that she was going to keep talking to him.
To be honest, I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t happy about it, but to me the sex wasn’t the real main issue. I told her fine, do what you want, but from now on everything has to be out in the open. I didn’t need to know about every email, but I didn’t want her to hide it either. She agreed, but said she wanted her own email account. I said fine.
She stopped emailing through our account, but I could see on our phone bill that they were talking multiple times a day and texting too. I figured this was probably a phase and it would burn out. .
I have looked at cuckold sites before this. Once when she was giving me a hand job she asked me to tell her what turns me on. I told her about the usual things, but I also said that sometimes I got off thinking about her flashing or doing things with other men. I even mentioned the work cuckold (just before I shot my load). I asked her if she knew what it meant and she said she did. I am sure she googled it after to see in more detail what I was talking about.
The one good thing that started happening is our sex life started to heat up. We started having sex almost every day and sometimes multiple times in a day. That hadn’t happened since before we were married. During sex I told her that if having a boyfriend meant that I got sex this much, I was alright with it. She laughed and said, ”well I don’t know if I would call him my boyfriend.” Then she looked at me and said, “As long as your getting plenty of sex, I can do whatever I want, can’t I?” Completely caught up in the sex, I 100% agreed with her and told her so. She laughed.
Her having a “boyfriend” still irritated me a little. Her sister and I have a special relationship and can talk about anything, so I told her all about it to try to sift through my feelings. She had met the guy, so I was curious to find out some more about him. She didn’t know much. She knew that my wife had spent a lot of time with him on their trip and she told me point blank that if she were me, she wouldn’t put up with this.
My wife has always been camera shy, but one day she offered that I should post some of the topless pictures I had taken of her on an armature website. I was suspicious that she just wanted to show her “boyfriend” a topless picture and she didn’t know where I keep them (I don’t leave them on the hard drive). I didn’t do it. Don’t know why, maybe because I was a little jealous. We were at the lake about a week later and we found a secluded spot. She took off her top and laid out. She has an awesome body and looked great. I grabbed her phone and took a picture. Partly because she looked so hot and partly because I wanted to see if she would txt the pic to her boyfriend. On the way home she texted it to him.
Through this whole thing I have been going back and forth between complete aroused and thinking about her doing this and being irritated that I don’t feel that I have any control in my relationship. She decided to tell her sister about her new friend. I talked to her sister about it and she said my wife gave her the cleaned up version of events. She also said my wife seemed to think it was funny that I was irritated by her having a new friend. Her sister also had found out a little more about this guy and told me that he was a little older than me (I am 31) and that he dated a lot of married women. The one thing that helped keep down the feelings of jealousy at this point was that her boyfriend being on the West Cost at least meant that they weren’t seeing each other which made it seem a little less threatening.
Well that changed when I found out that she was talking about meeting him in Las Vegas. A friend of ours had invited her to a bachelorette party in Vegas. She said she was probably going to meet him there. She told me that was three weeks ago.
Since then she has been shopping for her trip. Getting a new bikini and tops from Victoria Secrets. I guess that is normal enough, but she also started tanning (she likes the way she looks naked when she tans) and even had an appointment to get waxed the day before she left. The last two Saturdays, she has literally left me at home to clean while she has gone shopping for her trip.
Now she is in Vegas and I am sitting here trying to decide if I should do something about this or if I should just accept my new status. The thought of telling her when she comes home that she can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants, with whoever she wants makes me hard now, but I don’t know if it will then. When she gets back I am going to ask her what she thought of sex with another man. I guess when I hear that, I will know one way or another if I am going to be her willing cuckold or not.


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