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Felt left Out ... Now I'm in the Game
26/07/2016
After opening up our marriage six months ago as a cuckold relationship, my wife and I have had a great time. She's had several random encounters and a couple longer-term playmates. We had a good arrangement, she would show me the chats and the pics that were exchanged, she'd send me pics when she was out and show me video when she got back. She'd tell me stories of her adventures while we were intimate together. We were both enjoying it. It was working really well.

But things have cooled off at the moment. She's gotten over or gotten bored with the guys she has been playing with, but hasn't found anyone new just yet. Neither of us are really pushing to get things jump started at the moment, it's only been a few weeks. We're just taking it as it goes.

In order to fill the void, I guess, she's increased her online interactions. She's started multiple profiles on dating sites and has joined a heap of chat groups there. This is partly to improve her chances of finding some new playmates, but also just to give her some fun and entertainment in the mean time. She's chatting with heaps of people from around the world, putting up heaps of pics, doing some online RP, and regularly getting off while sexting with people. It's not necessarily cuckolding themed stuff that I can easily participate in though. A lot of these groups and sites she's just posing as a single woman to have a bit of online fun. All of which I'm fine with and I'm glad she's having fun.

The thing is, the current arrangement doesn't seem to allow for as much inclusion and sharing and I'm feeling a bit left out. She's tried to include me; I help in prepping her and taking pics for her profiles, but I don't get to see or get sent any of these pics, she occasionally shows me the conversations she's having, but only the 'this is so terrible, laugh out loud' messages she receives, not the 'good stuff'.

She's putting more time and effort into our intimate time together and we're exploring new things as her way of compensating for me not being as involved, but I still feel like she's off having these online adventures and I'm left sitting on the sideline. Our open relationship is a cuckold one. So she's free to play as she wishes without too many restrictions, while I'm not. Which I'm happy with. I have no desire to do so and she abhorres the thought of me being with, or doing anything with, someone else, even anything online. So I'm not looking to start doing stuff online myself. I just want to feel more included in what she's doing. Instead of it being the shared experience it used to be, it's now just a lot of her sitting on the couch for hours on end chatting and posting without much involvement from me.

We've discussed all this, and she's understanding. She's trying to involve me more; as I said, helping her with the pics and we're having more, and more, varied intimacy. But I'm still feeling left out. Adding more of one thing (while definitely great!) doesn't necessarily make up for the loss of something in another area, because I'm still not feeling involved in that part of her life like I used to be. But the thing is, most of the stuff she's doing like group chats and messaging, RP-ing and swapping pics, is inherently an individual activity. It's a bit much to ask her to screen cap her interactions every five minutes and send them to me so I can stay involved. She says there's too much for that to be practical. Across the various sites, she'd be talking to a couple of dozen guys at any given time. So it's understandably impractical to try to send me updates on all of those conversations and activities constantly.

So, she came up with the idea that we position her computer desk so that it faces the closet a few feet away and that I hide in there while she chats. Our closet is big enough for me to sit comfortably in and with the door open slightly people who chat with her can't really tell.

It's brilliant and now I can watch and HAVE watched her interact.

I love her dearly.


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