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just found out (part 3) day 10.
31/01/2010
Today is Sunday. And it is interesting how a situation ages, matures, grows complex. It has been ten days since my initial suspicion that my wife is cheating with the neighbor. That suspicion is now all but confirmed.

My feelings about the matter have grown surprisingly calm, patient. I have a lessened urgency with regard to having to resolve the situation one way or another. It is more curiosity as to how long it has been going on; visions of what they do. Is it that different than the good sex we have had, and still have?

On the days that it seems she has gone to him, she steers our sex away from oral sex where I could see, confirm. Yet evidence there has been. Panties worn on the morning run balled up and pushed to the bottom of the laundry basket. When I retrieve them they are wet -- from sweat, surely, but in the crotch, the wetness is different; it is slick and slippery like remainders from sex, like semen and her.

On the days when it seems she has not been with him (of course there is no certainty), I have full access to her with my mouth, my eyes. Interestingly, when I pretty much know she has been there (I see her turn into his yard from the alley) she does not want my mouth or eyes near her sex.

Her "relationship" with him could be as recent as a month ago, or years ago. He has been in our home for parties, barbecues. However long or short it has been, my relationship with her, by every measure, has been constant, consistent, and loving. Measured by that, I have the marriage that I want. Should my knowledge of her extracurricular activities effect that? Initially, it did...currently, it seems less important.

This morning: we wake early and it is still dark, and we drank and danced and had fun at the showbox last night, so when we came home late we collapsed in bed and made token attempts at fucking....and then early, I wake and pursue her and we start slowly and lazily beginning contact, the start, jump-start of sex and we get to the point where she want,wants me and I want her so bad and I mount her and we start to fuck and she says, "no, there. cum inside me THERE." And she's so wet we won't need lube, and we shift and turn her over, and press and push and enter her there, that other place, and we fuck and we fuck and she cums and I cum and we finish.

We doze. We sleep. An hour later she wakes, we wake, and I hear her say, "I'm going to Mass, is that OK?" And I say yes. We were both raised Catholics. Occasionally, she does Mass; I do not.

I say "sure," wondering now if the preference for anal was to keep herself, her cunt, clean, free of me -- for him.

After her shower, she puts on a dress, plain, not obviously sexy, but flattering, it follows her modest and sexy curves. She leaves out the front door and gets in the car, I look down the street and he's leaving his house walking down to the corner turning left; when she gets there she turns...left.

I think, with surprising detachment....the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass; the holy sacrifice of the ass; the sacrament of cunt. of cock. Jesus was nailed; wife just got nailed.

Right now, to my surprise, I am OK with the current situation. If she eventually leaves me for him, she will; in the meantime she is with me and it is good. It is, by all outward measure, as it has always been -- a close, loving, sexual and sensual marriage.

((thanks to those who have emailed and offered their advice, condolences, wisdom, etc. ))


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