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Now I Know
15/09/2009
As we mature in life we can take a moment and reflect on things in our past, why they happened and what were the true meanings of the actual events... I guess im here to reflect on a few of those events from my past and how it all makes sense now that im 38 years old and can see the whole picture.
The first "cuck" like symptoms i had came at the early age af about 8-9 and invovles wearing my mothers bras and panties. This was long before i even knew what sex was, but i remember how awesome wearing here silking panties felt on my cock and how good i thought i looked wearing her bra....The second part of this came after my step sister moved in with us when i was 12 and by then i knew what my cock was used for...WOW the feeling of her sexy panties on my cock as i would use liquid soap and her panties to stroke my cock to a very intense orgasm just about everyday.Lookin back now i know why.
Now moving forward a few years....Let me start this by saying that my wife and i have been together since early HS, we dated for 12 years b4 we got married and have been happily married ever since.So here is part 2....Just out of HS...GF is in college and in a sorority and they are having their mixers every other weekend or whatever it was and i remember so well, how that turned me on thinking that she was "talking" to other guys and probably getting turned on. I would always have to jack off atleast 2 times on the nites she was at the sorority house...Looking back now, i know why.
Now then to lets progress on the age of about 26-28, last year or two b4 we got married and first year of marriage...These 2 events didnt really make sense to me at the time so i just kinda ignored them and didnt really think about it until a couple of years later after i realized i was a cuckhold....
First incident was one day at the lake, my then GF's cousin had come down for a visit and we had taken the jetskis to the lake. It was on a friday afternoon and the lake was empty...I had taken out one of the jetskis to the otherside of the lake and they had stay on the beach to talk and hang out...I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT I SAW AS I CAME AROUND THE CORNER OF THE LAKE....THERE WAS MY GF STANDING ARMS WRAPPED AROUND HER COUSIN LOCKED DEEP IN A KISS. I was still aways from them and they were obviously to busy to notice me still on the other side of the lake. I turned around and got back out of site from them and watched as they stopped to look for me and would then continue kissing like 2 love birds. That nite i had to work from 5-10. Usually my GF would come over while i worked but not that nite. She stayed at home with her cousin while her parents went to dinner. They had the whole house to themselves. I knew what she was doing and it drove me wild and still does to this day. Probably one of the best days of my life.I did finally confront her about a few years back and she did admit to their playfulness..
Now then the NUMBER 1 thing on my list that proves im a cuck..This was the year b4 we were married and the first 6 moths after we were married. My Gf had graduated college and got a job as a teacher in a town about 30 minutes away. At some point she started talking about this one other teacher and how he was fun to hang around but that he was bigger (meaning i shouldnt worry about him) Then when she would get home in the evening from work she would go straight to the bathroom and need to take a bath. After the bath she was always ready for some sex. I always got 1 of 2 reasons....i was talking to XXXXXX after school and we were talking about sex and im horny, or i was thinking about it on the way home....Which i knew werent lies....they just werent the whole story....I know she was making out with XXXXXX and giving him blo jobs...The last year of her working there we got married and build a house, then when she would come home i would check her panties and they would be soaking wet when she got home from work. (because she was thinking about sex on the drive home) YEA RITE!!!
Again, these were some of the best days of my life..i didnt finaly confront her on these events as well and she somewhat fessed up....
Now move forward 10 years...we have gone thru the swinging thing...Just wasnt my cup of tea...i do like women alot but just get most satisfaction out of watching or hearing or hearing about her getting pleasure, than my own...So im now a cuck that loves watching or hearing my wife getting awsum sex from another man that is better than i am.


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